Apparently ‘birds of a feather flock together’ but what about the people you love?
It is not unusual to see our children make friends with people who are different from them. In most groups there is a daredevil, a creative person and the one who always has a snack in their bag to share with everybody.
At university, groups seem to become more homogeneous. We study the same things and to make faster progress we work with someone who does things the way we do. Then we go into a profession that already has its own rules and regulations and when these are multinational companies, we join an army of colleagues all performing the same tasks.
Living with another person is very different and something of a challenge. The other person does not think or act the same way we do. This is often exasperating but if we welcome their differences, they can help us see what is normally invisible to us.
If we have the humility to allow ourselves to be inspired by a different person, a new world will open up to us and enrich our lives.
Our roles and habits stick with us. We repeat them because we know them so well. They have carved grooves in our brain and with each repetition the groove becomes deeper.
They turn into such deep canyons that we can’t see or imagine any other neural networks.
That’s why it’s harder to leave your job after 15 years than after 15 months.
We remain right at the bottom of the canyon, deprived of light and sun, seeing nothing but the same pathway day after day. No room for creativity or doing anything on a whim.
To climb up the sides, we need training, stimulation and maybe also a team of trainers and a mental coach. If top-level sports players seek support to help them achieve their peak performance, why shouldn’t we do the same?
Would you like to leave your canyon?
Many people are “lifesavers”: helping others, allowing them to escape from poverty, taking their mind off being sad or ill, with good advice. We love to help and do good all around us.
Do we ever ask ourselves if the people we want to save really want to be saved?
We often plunge in and rush to help people who have not asked us for anything.
Is this to help other people or to help ourselves? Isn’t our feeling of being useful just an illusion?
Should our role as a “saviour” not be more about trying to get the other person to want to save themselves… possibly by asking for our help?
What about you? Do you offer YOUR solutions or do you listen to what others are really asking for?
There are countless methods of personal development that invite us to dream big, to imagine total success, to feel it and sniff it to find out what it is actually like, what it is made of.
Our ‘benevolent’ education, on the other hand, tries to make us act reasonably.
What if we revolted against what is “reasonable” and started dreaming? Not just day-dreaming along the lines of “what if I was rich” or “what if I was different”. No, dreaming a big, beautiful dream that we create with images, words and shapes, etc.
Our brains will have time to tame our ideas so we can get used to them. And as they – our brains – are very clever, they will find all sorts of ways to do this.
Why, then, should we set ourselves a reasonable objective, when we can dream BIG? If we put all our will into it, all our enthusiasm and all our energy to bring it about, we can get there.
Would you like to think big this year?
Our children are our teachers. Children teach us every day what it means to be totally immersed in a task without worrying about the world around you. Being 100% present in what you are doing.
They show us our limitations, they push their ideas as far as they will go, making us measure whether we will also stick with our convictions right to the end.
They are a fantastic mirror, making us face up to our inconsistencies, and can make us fly off the handle all too easily.
Our children teach us about unconditional love, not to mention forgiveness. Even when we’ve told them off, they are indulgent and can show us just with a cuddle that they have forgiven us for losing our temper and that they still love us.
Anyone who has contact with a child will confirm that that child has touched them in their inner being, helped them progress or made them aware of something essential.
The wisdom of the child lies not in knowing but in being.
So, why don’t we go back and connect with our inner child and listen to their advice?