by Gundula Welti
08 Apr 2020
Tuning in
I had just arrived in the training room and was looking for a place to sit when all of a sudden I hear, « Come sit next to me! ». It is Jocelyne, a fellow participant, who adds, « That way I can enjoy your positive energy all day»
Wow. What a lovely affirmation to start the day with. Thanks Jocelyne.
I allowed myself to enjoy her compliment briefly, then unhelpfully started to tell myself that it is actually pretty normal – when attending a seminar on coaching – to have a benevolent neighbor at ease with expressing her feelings.
Then I realize my error. This kind of thing doesn’t just happen in coaching seminars – benevolence is all over the place, and expresses itself in a thousand ways each day. I’m not always looking for it, but when I really think about it, how many times has someone held a door open for me, picked up a paper I dropped or simply smiled at me for no apparent reason?
When I focus my attention on how good the world is, I realize that my world is full of lovely and kind people. The world is not the problem. It’s me, and my focus. I am simply not tuned into the right frequency.
So, which frequency are you tuned into as you move through the world?
by Gundula Welti
08 Apr 2020
Redundancy
« What cannot be avoided, should be embraced »
– Shakespeare
A friend tells me that her boss just gave her notice of her imminent redundancy. At nearly 50 she is worried about not being able to find a new job, and about having to deal with the consequences of being unemployed.
That said, she knows that her redundancy is inevitable, and that it is just the start of a more substantial wave of redundancies in the organization. So she does as Shakespeare suggests: she identifies an opportunity to negotiate a good redundancy package and to use it to start something new.
After the initial shock and anger about losing her job, now all she can see is possibility. The ‘disaster’ has become a springboard to finally do the thing she has wanted to do for so long. Far from being depressed, she is all bubbly and enthusiastic. She took Shakespeare at his word and totally embraced the change she could not avoid.
When I see how she has handled the situation, I’m impressed. There is a lot I can learn from such a woman.
And you? When ‘disaster’ strikes, do you try to duck it, or can you give it a hug, a la Shakespeare?
by Gundula Welti
08 Apr 2020
Building a Career
The participants in my trainings are often far too quick to be critical of themselves. For some reason they seem much better at seeing what is wrong with themselves than what is right. And this in spite of the fact that they are clearly experts in their own domains.
It seems to be a default setting in adults. We have a tendency to put our focus on what’s wrong/what’s missing instead of what is working well. Instead of congratulating our kids for the A they got in French, we are all over them because of the C in math. That might be helpful if you know that your kid will definitely build his career on being a maths whizz, but you can’t know that. And anyway, just as you wouldn’t chose to be a baker if you are allergic to flour, or to be a jockey if you are afraid of horses, your child who is not drawn to math will likely do something that doesn’t require that talent!
When we build on our talents we build on strength. That’s part of why I force myself to tell the people I meet why I admire them. Their talents, small and big, conscious or unconscious, ephemeral or permanent are the cornerstone of what they can do and be in their lives.
If they know what they are good, talented or even a genius at they can make it a lever to build their careers.
‘And what about my defects?’, you might ask? Well, they’ll quite simply be drowned by your talents. Focusing on your weaknesses sounds smart, but it’s a mug’s game.
And you? Who in your network needs to know about their own strengths so that they can build on them?
by Gundula Welti
08 Apr 2020
The mirror
Inspired by « Cristal Heart », a story by Frédéric Lenoir
A young man, unhappy after a recent insult by his friends, went looking for comfort from an old wise man but didn’t get quite what he expected:
« Nobody is able to make you unhappy”, said the old man. “Also, instead of having been insulted, let’s say your friends had offered compliments. Would you have been happy?”
“Probably”, the young man answered.
“Well, then you would have given them the power to make you happy. It’s the same thing.
“Life holds up all kind of mirrors for us, so that we can learn about ourselves and make progress. An insult or a compliment is just a mirror that is being held up for us. It doesn’t matter who holds it up.
“When you look into a mirror and you see that you have a blemish on your face, you don’t get mad at the mirror or the person holding it, do you?. You just do what you can to remove the blemish.
“What you want to do is use the mirror of others remarks to observe yourself and to observe your own reactions. Each gesture and each word that touches you is there so that you get to know yourself better, change what you need to, and move on. Happiness and unhappiness are inside you.”
I saw bits of myself in this tale, so I thought I’d check with you: have you given the power to be happy or unhappy to somebody else or are you in control?
by Gundula Welti
08 Apr 2020
My cupboard of creativity
I realized lately that there was an uneven distribution in how the rod in my clothes cupboard was getting used. When I considered it carefully, I realized that I only ever wear about 20% of the clothes, from the right side of the rod that holds the hangars. The remaining 80% on the left were hardly ever being worn.
That 80% is still fashionable and attractive, so I invented a personal challenge: each day I take whatever is on the next hanger to the left and take it out for a spin!
Here is the result: I have rediscovered items long forgotten and I have found new ways to associate the ‘new’ garment with the rest of my wardrobe. Not only have I been able to double my active wardrobe, but have also found myself a new way to express my creativity!
What works for my wardrobe also works in the kitchen: I now often decide to « improvise » around a specific food or theme rather than just going with dishes I’ve made hundreds of times before. It’s also become part of my approach when I am about to write an article: I start with a quote or a short story and then I branch out to mental associations I think you might find helpful or interesting.
And you? In which domain are you expressing your creativity while making appropriate associations around a given element?